Goodbye 2008

*Sigh*

I'm back, yes its me. Lots of things have happened since I wrote last.

I took a job with a Marching Band. That's right, a person who can't read music is the Marching Band Assistant. Wow. It felt totally overwhelming at first, but now it just feels uncomfortable.

I'm still working on finding my niche. I have dreams of becoming a librarian, I guess if I want to do that I should go to school while I still fit in.

Um, no progress on the manly front. It has been a year of self preservation and learning lessons from past relationships. I'm back on my feet, but I have to make sure I'm a whole person. When the right guy comes along, I don't want to be full of problems from the old guys. You know. So healing was needed. That's what I did in 2008. 2009 watch out!

I went to the salon and got my large afro trimmed. Too much if you ask me. I still say she made some snap judgements based on an early impression. But she gave me a better shaped 'fro (thanks) but now I have to wait even longer on that awesome afro that glistens and moves in the wind. pout.

I got caught up in the Twilight frenzy, yes that's right a 26 year old woman reading teen vampire fiction. I couldn't help it.

I have witnessed lots of things but most of all I'm hopeful for the next year. Oh yeah, I've decided to blog again. I need you guys to witness all the stuff I'm about to get into. I'm pretty sure 2009 is going to be full of my eventful shenanigans. I took 2008 off, so its time to do it big in 2009.

Talk to you next year!

I love her hair... and oh yeah her music

Man, I've been on this burnin' high. Downloading and burning all the cds I've been wanting for a while. But I've just stumbled upon Esperanza Spalding. She's a jazz singer and a bassist. But what I like most is her style. Her afro is totally my model. She has a long and full 'fro, that's what I'm going for, sigh, we shall see.

Being guided by Holy Spirit

The mind boggles at why married men care about how my hair looks. But this weekend my friends' husbands took upon themselves to comment. I think they are trying to intimidate their wives from growing an afro. UNBELIEVABLE. One guy raised his fist at me and greeted me with "Black Power." I was offended! Suddenly because I have a natural I'm a militant? I love Black people because I love ALL people. I could have retaliated but chose not to. I don't think his wife was gonna look at my hair and instantly want a natural. I mean c'mon! If he has married a grown woman with thinking ability and decision making skills I don't think being around me will influence her to "stray" from the permed course. That is not a strong enough reason to go natural. Believe me. I kinda think my hair made him uncomfortable. In my friend set I'm the odd woman out. I'm still single and I don't have to consult a husband about my personal grooming decision. I think he may have felt uneasy about his wife seeing a free woman make a chemical free decision such as I have. Who knows. Maybe he was trying to be funny.The second opinionated hubby compared me with Lauryn Hill. Not a bad comparison but we all know about Lauryn sketchy history with sanity and fame. I don't know what he was implying but he may have clarified his view with his latter comments. He sighed and shook my shoulder and said, "Rachel, why don't you go ahead and get dreads?" As if I were being indecisive and asking everyone for their opinion on what I should do with my hair. Wow! I should have sarcastically said, "Thank you so much, I've been debating whether to get them or not, but now that I have your permission I can go ahead." NO! Meanwhile his wife was very polite. She also is deeply entrenched in the perm society. She rocks a very cute short razor cut with a little honey blond icing. She doesn't seem to want to go natural, but apparently to these men I'm a threat or a fence stradler.

If you know me you know I'm a clown, a REAL fool, but I never make jokes off these men. All of my jokes have respectful boundaries that I have never crossed with them. Rules such as no personal appearance jokes, or marriage jokes. It seems in their mind either they didn't know about that rule or my afro made it okay for them to break it. Next time its gonna be worse. Because sad to say, I didn't set them straight. They still think its okay to say that kind of stuff.

This can't be the popular consensus in the male view can it? Do men seriously ONLY like stick straight long hair? What can that possibly matter in the long run? I mean it takes lots of work to keep up long permed hair. Silk pillows, scarves, satin caps, long hours in the salon....etc. And then it still doesn't look perfect all the time, when its time for a touch up LOOK OUT! Meanwhile half of the time my permed sisters accentuate with weave pieces and sometimes half and whole wigs. Get a grip guys. I'm the girl who is the same all the time. My hair is soft and manageable and happens to stick out from my head. Its a true part of me, authentic, unaltered, unadulterated me-ness. But then again I have to believe that there are men out there that appreciate the Real Rachel. There won't be any surprises in the morning with me. When I wake up the only thing different is my fro is wopsided. But a little picking will fix that right up.
Meanwhile, I must have a giant neon sign that hovers above my 'fro that says, "Lonely single female wants ANY male attention." All sorts of old guys looked up and down, made comments and basically tried to holler. YUCK. For those of you who like men 20 years older than you, I don't mean to offend. But "get ya boys" please. And then the young married men. This is some kind of epidemic! They are flirting hard. I'm safe, because I never want to destroy my relationship with Jehovah or be "the other woman". But they are gonna eventually find the girl who is desperate or doesn't care about his family at home. This is all sad to me. And very dirty, not only to their wives (who aren't always unsuspecting) but to me and any other "vunerable" single person. These men know we want a connection and they use that to their advantage. In about 4 years, some of the marriages I know of will look totally different.

Sigh, this weekend was work, and yet it was spiritually refreshing. I'm envigorated to start my life anew. And that says a lot more than me blogging can.

Toodles, and sorry for the long rant. Say something or don't, Byyeee!

Confessions

Most of you already know about my relationship with Common and some even know about the time that I spent with Kamal Gray. But yall definitely didn't know that I HEART Clive Owen. If you don't agree just check out Closer. 'Nuff said.

Well okay, one more thing... this:

Okay bye

Everyone knows

And she knows it yall, I have direct evidence that Rihanna has mixed heritage. She is mixed with Black and Giraffe. That's right people. I first noticed how long her neck was when she posed for a CoverGirl ad. That thing wrapped around the back of my magazine.Yall know her neck is long as crap. They have a word for it in Art History, (ahem: educatedness on display) its called Mannerism. When limbs and bodies are elongated to create a more graceful figure. But she just has it in her neck so...I'm just glad she is embracing her uniqueness. (By puting it in a silver bow tie).

And did you hear MAXWELL is back!! I just got a chill up my spine (a good one). If this man releases an album this year, he will create another national black holiday. The first being Lil Wayne's Tha Carter III. I will have to take off work, its that serious.

Brain Fart

Mental lapses, brain farts, forgetting. Whatever you want to call it I'm having it, doing it, its being done to me. I have a horrible memory for a 25 almost 26 year old. My sister has been on my back for months to find a black shrug in my closet. I haven't done any more than the usual shallow search for it. I got up and eyed my drawers and closet, content that I didn't see it in that compulsory scan, I told her I couldn't find it. Yeah, yeah, I'm a bad sister but I assauged my guilt by telling myself that I would conduct a thorough rescue operation for this missing sweater...after my nap. Well that was about 5 months ago. I keep forgetting. Last night my sister sent 2(!) text messages (her favorite mode of communication these days) about the black jacket. I feel guilty, but wait! This is partially her fault too. She has been knowing me for 25 almost 26 years. She should just come over the house and search for it herself. She gave me a semi-miffed call just a few minutes ago. She chastised me on my cell habits (I don't really use my cell, it just occupies space in my purse, bag, desk) and on not finding this black thingie that she wants so bad.This memory thing is starting to get pesky. In movies its the funny schtick that gives us a few chuckles and we shake our heads and say "that ol such and such, he's a character." In real life people call you worse than such and such. They call me irresponsible. So now when I watch movies I don't laugh anymore when a character forgets, I empathize. And BTW totally off subject but on subject at the same time....50 First Dates was one of the saddest movies of all time. I cried at the end. Yeah, she loves old buddy but she has to meet him over again everyday and he has to condense their life in a video for her to watch EVERYDAY. She has to wake up and find out that she's a mother EVERYDAY, or learn something horrible EVERYDAY. That was one of the saddest things I had ever seen. Bambi's mom had nothing on that. Okay! Toodles

Enough said

hahaha