Yes, that's right people. I'm talking about underwear. And its betrayal on the women's race. Not only is some of it uncomfortable, but some of these contraptions are borderline torture to wear. Girdles, bras, bikinis, thongs, boy shorts, slips, body shapers, bustiers....sigh. We've been holding ourselves together for a long time with the help of some scraps of twisted metal and cotton-lycra combinations. I have been stabbed on numerous occasions by a stealthy underwire bra. That is the point where you take the wire out, stomp on it and then inspect the injured skin or puncture wound. But where does that leave you until you get home, that's right say it with me, l o p s i d e d. At times like those I wish I were a member of the itty bitty titty commitity. To be honest I was a proud member until 1999. This darn late blooming isn't what its cracked up to be....
Speaking of cracks, um, at what point is a thong wedgy sexy? Is the thong supposed to sit on top of the crack? If so, I will never be able to wear this underwear style properly since I have been diagnosed with one of the severest modern cases of hungry booty syndrome known to man. This phenomenon affects over 30% of people especially those with a booty cheek ratio of more that 3 to 1. But I digress.
Its getting hot. I'm boycotting underwear...ok second thought no I'm not. I'm just doing the comfort thing okay? Okay. Granny panties for life man...except on special sexy occasions. I wish men had to endure this....check out this Monty Python clip ( I love those guys).
4 comments:
All I have to say is TRUE! Okay I have the hungry booty illness, I'm moving out of the itty bitty titty commitity, I've started to have to wear body shapers...among other things- I think they should come up with a law if your butt is bigger than lets say a size 6 in underwear world) they should design a force field for your butt invisible undies...same with any other area of underwear you are having issues with...do you feel me? Cause its murder otherwise, somethings gotta give- cause I'm tired of my boot being hungry everytime I put on draws
I'm sorry I dont feel your pain...I can wear body shapers and no wire bras and be comfortable. As far as the panties problem...I have found the right combination of Jockey and Vicki Secrets to keep me comfortable and they are definately not thongs, yuck! Those boy underwear made for women are the bomb tho. They are wedge free and feels good on the skin! So find whats comfortable and stick with it...Next on my list to try is Spanx's!!
Well everyone can't attain the pinnacle of underwears perfection...sigh I guess granny p's are my lot in life = (
Sunny read my mind! I was so going to suggest Spanx. They are from the heavenlies!
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