Yes, that's right people. I'm talking about underwear. And its betrayal on the women's race. Not only is some of it uncomfortable, but some of these contraptions are borderline torture to wear. Girdles, bras, bikinis, thongs, boy shorts, slips, body shapers, bustiers....sigh. We've been holding ourselves together for a long time with the help of some scraps of twisted metal and cotton-lycra combinations. I have been stabbed on numerous occasions by a stealthy underwire bra. That is the point where you take the wire out, stomp on it and then inspect the injured skin or puncture wound. But where does that leave you until you get home, that's right say it with me, l o p s i d e d. At times like those I wish I were a member of the itty bitty titty commitity. To be honest I was a proud member until 1999. This darn late blooming isn't what its cracked up to be....
Speaking of cracks, um, at what point is a thong wedgy sexy? Is the thong supposed to sit on top of the crack? If so, I will never be able to wear this underwear style properly since I have been diagnosed with one of the severest modern cases of hungry booty syndrome known to man. This phenomenon affects over 30% of people especially those with a booty cheek ratio of more that 3 to 1. But I digress.
Its getting hot. I'm boycotting underwear...ok second thought no I'm not. I'm just doing the comfort thing okay? Okay. Granny panties for life man...except on special sexy occasions. I wish men had to endure this....check out this Monty Python clip ( I love those guys).
