Hey girl:
I do have a suggestion. Maybe you could pose the question on your blog whether or not women are a true reflection of the men that hit on them. I know we’ve talked about it before, but I’m curious about what others have to say.
~Krystal
Thanks Krystal!
This has been a question in my mind too. My mom gave me some advice once. She said “When you go out looking for a man, remember to look in the mirror first.” Now I don’t know what she was trying to say. I probably need therapy to work that out but, it made so much sense when I applied to other people. But what does it mean? Not to shoot for the stars because you’re not the most beautiful woman in the world? No, I refuse to settle. I don’t even like the word settle. But then I was thinking "how many people live by that theory anyway"? On many an occasion old men (over 40) have approached me or made overtures toward me. I believe they thought that they had a chance too. Instead of these compliments(?) boosting my confidence, they have the opposite effect. I think to myself “what vibe/message did you send out to make him believe he had a chance”? Then I shiver and walk away, fast. Same with scrubby dudes and Lame-o’s. I really feel that my self perception is warped by these encounters.
Okay if a woman is TOGETHER, shouldn’t most men find her attractive? Shouldn’t she be confident enough to accept a compliment from any source and move on?
I think the reason why this phenomenon disturbs me is because when women get interested in a man its because he looked good of course but mainly it’s a reflection of how we think of ourselves. Although may have been seconds from the time we first saw a guy we have already had very important subconscious flashes and conclusions. (Or at least in my case)
1.) Seen myself on a date with him.
2.) Matched our senses of style.
3.) Physically sized him up.
4.) I have a preconceived notion of what his voice is going to be like.
5.) Although I’m kinda against kids, I have a picture of what his kids would look like.
I do have a suggestion. Maybe you could pose the question on your blog whether or not women are a true reflection of the men that hit on them. I know we’ve talked about it before, but I’m curious about what others have to say.
~Krystal
Thanks Krystal!
This has been a question in my mind too. My mom gave me some advice once. She said “When you go out looking for a man, remember to look in the mirror first.” Now I don’t know what she was trying to say. I probably need therapy to work that out but, it made so much sense when I applied to other people. But what does it mean? Not to shoot for the stars because you’re not the most beautiful woman in the world? No, I refuse to settle. I don’t even like the word settle. But then I was thinking "how many people live by that theory anyway"? On many an occasion old men (over 40) have approached me or made overtures toward me. I believe they thought that they had a chance too. Instead of these compliments(?) boosting my confidence, they have the opposite effect. I think to myself “what vibe/message did you send out to make him believe he had a chance”? Then I shiver and walk away, fast. Same with scrubby dudes and Lame-o’s. I really feel that my self perception is warped by these encounters.
Okay if a woman is TOGETHER, shouldn’t most men find her attractive? Shouldn’t she be confident enough to accept a compliment from any source and move on?
I think the reason why this phenomenon disturbs me is because when women get interested in a man its because he looked good of course but mainly it’s a reflection of how we think of ourselves. Although may have been seconds from the time we first saw a guy we have already had very important subconscious flashes and conclusions. (Or at least in my case)
1.) Seen myself on a date with him.
2.) Matched our senses of style.
3.) Physically sized him up.
4.) I have a preconceived notion of what his voice is going to be like.
5.) Although I’m kinda against kids, I have a picture of what his kids would look like.
And last but not least I’m ashamed to admit it but...
6.) I know what comments my friends would make about him.
You know I left out some but these are just a few things that run across my mind.
I just don’t think guys go through any substantial lists like that before they approach. Well at least old guys, scrubby guys, and Lame-o’s. My theory is they feel like they will never know if they don’t ask, or what have they got to lose. To be continued...
I just don’t think guys go through any substantial lists like that before they approach. Well at least old guys, scrubby guys, and Lame-o’s. My theory is they feel like they will never know if they don’t ask, or what have they got to lose. To be continued...
This touches me deeply, what are your thoughts?
