Bitterness

Recently I saw my ex with his new girlfriend. I feel very small because I want to be happy for him but I'm not. I did a test to find out what I was feeling. 1. Do I still want him? no 2. Would I talk to him again if he asked? no 3. Do I find him attractive tonight? no 4. Am I upset that he's with someone else? yes Bingo. Selfishness. Instead of thinking "since I don't want him then anyone can have him", I'm like "how could he get someone and I'm still by myself, I'm the coolest ever". I know, I know you're like well you dated him so he can't be that bad...No! This guy is one of the exes I keep hidden away. I never tell people we dated, if people hinted that we did, I deny 3 times like Peter! He was the lamest of all lames ( I won't go into details). I never told him how lame he was because I didn't think he'd see it as being lame. He has lame-blindness. It afflicts about 12.5% of young American adults every year. As all recovering Lame-os know, the first step is admitting that you have lame issues. Let's just say that it wasn't a shining moment in my past. I don't think he'll read this but if he does, oh well.

I keep thinking how small this sounds. But I really had a double take moment when I saw him with the girl. She is cute, and she seems nice (I smiled at her and she returned my smile). Maybe I should just be happy for them...Nawl man! I'm gonna have my tantrum! ARGH! (running down the hallway at work). Plus I really believe the numbers are on his side. For every man there are like 25 females in varying degrees of desperateness. He's bound to find one to suit him. I gotta shake this off, I'm not used to this feeling.

Lessons learned: Don't date lame-o's and it won't come back to bite you.

Is that the lesson I should have learned from all this? What are your thoughts?