Being guided by Holy Spirit

Sorry Excuses for …

Man…Sigh… Hey yall,

I just read this bogus-face story on Yahoo(http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080602/lf_nm_life/books_bachelors_dc).

About how men aren’t afraid of marriage but rather are afraid of making mistakes, afraid of bad marriages. Booooo. Everyone is scared they will have a bad marriage. Lightbulb! Why don’t two people that are deathly afraid of a bad marriage get married? Maybe they will stay nice to one another and be, gasp!, faithful. I don’t believe in this story at all. I think these men like playing the field and don’t want to change in order to become a permanent part of a couple. Don’t get me wrong, I think some of them have been traumatized by seeing their parents divorce or by evil girlfriends…but it didn’t say these men stopped all romantic contact with women. These aren’t celibate men, these men are serial dating just like all the rest, but they just are settling down. And that is sick to me. I mean, who wants a mate who doesn’t want to be married? No one, but these men are just finding scapegoats to make their indecision sound justified. No (shaking my head), I don’t buy it. They should have asked these men if they have children, have mortgages, have serious careers, have real responsibilities. The answer is yes. This is just one thing that its becoming okay for people to shrug out of … life-long commitment to another person. That’s my rant for today. How are you today? Good, bad? Let me know.

Hey girl

Hey girl:
I do have a suggestion. Maybe you could pose the question on your blog whether or not women are a true reflection of the men that hit on them. I know we’ve talked about it before, but I’m curious about what others have to say.

~Krystal

Thanks Krystal!
This has been a question in my mind too. My mom gave me some advice once. She said “When you go out looking for a man, remember to look in the mirror first.” Now I don’t know what she was trying to say. I probably need therapy to work that out but, it made so much sense when I applied to other people. But what does it mean? Not to shoot for the stars because you’re not the most beautiful woman in the world? No, I refuse to settle. I don’t even like the word settle. But then I was thinking "how many people live by that theory anyway"? On many an occasion old men (over 40) have approached me or made overtures toward me. I believe they thought that they had a chance too. Instead of these compliments(?) boosting my confidence, they have the opposite effect. I think to myself “what vibe/message did you send out to make him believe he had a chance”? Then I shiver and walk away, fast. Same with scrubby dudes and Lame-o’s. I really feel that my self perception is warped by these encounters.

Okay if a woman is TOGETHER, shouldn’t most men find her attractive? Shouldn’t she be confident enough to accept a compliment from any source and move on?

I think the reason why this phenomenon disturbs me is because when women get interested in a man its because he looked good of course but mainly it’s a reflection of how we think of ourselves. Although may have been seconds from the time we first saw a guy we have already had very important subconscious flashes and conclusions. (Or at least in my case)
1.) Seen myself on a date with him.
2.) Matched our senses of style.
3.) Physically sized him up.
4.) I have a preconceived notion of what his voice is going to be like.
5.) Although I’m kinda against kids, I have a picture of what his kids would look like.

And last but not least I’m ashamed to admit it but...

6.) I know what comments my friends would make about him.

You know I left out some but these are just a few things that run across my mind.

I just don’t think guys go through any substantial lists like that before they approach. Well at least old guys, scrubby guys, and Lame-o’s. My theory is they feel like they will never know if they don’t ask, or what have they got to lose. To be continued...

This touches me deeply, what are your thoughts?